During my weight loss months, I would tune into an American T.V. show called The Biggest Loser every Tuesday and follow the progress of a group of morbidly obese Americans dieting and exercizing their way to health. America has just about every type of reality show under the sun, covering all the usual juicy topics that promise to give us a glimpse into a range of lives: from rehabbing druggie celebs to maximum security prisoners to predator pedophiles. The reality of reality television is the more scandalously sensationalist the better. So naturally, my favorite genres of trash t.v are shows delving into the world of obesity: The Half Ton Man (1000 pounds!!! 450 kilograms!!!), The 650-pound Virgin, True Life: I’m Morbidly Obese, Too Fat for Fifteen, and so on and on and on. Did I find it empowering? Nah (except for The Biggest Loser). Did it make me feel good about my 232? Sure. Perspective… makes just about everything look good.
But there’s one genre of reality show that America has yet to capitalize on and that is the other side of morbidly obese, the morbidly underweight. Now, had it not been lodged into yet another obesity program, I probably would not have tuned in. But the U.K T.V show Supersize Vs. Superskinny has just the right blend of bizarre, amusing and disturbing to get me hooked. For the large part of each episode, we follow a person who is usually over 350 pounds (160 kgs) swap diets and live in a house with a person who is usually under 80 pounds (36 kgs). I forget precisely what the objective of the diet swap is (aside for our entertainment). But we certainly get a glimpse into two extreme relationships to food. And we see how both exist along the same spectrum. But the other day it dawned on me… I might just fall somewhere along that spectrum. And that might not be the greatest thing.
There are a disturbing amount of things I have in common with both the morbidly obese and the anorexic.
The SuperSkinny. Usually women, but occasionally men, tend to have a disturbing relationship to caffeine. In order to have energy and zest for life as they undereat by 2 to 3 days worth of food each week, these people juice up on coffee and sugar-free redbulls and sometimes even chocolate for that sugar-high that keeps them going. I had quit coffee for a while there, but am back on it, and pretty much drink ridiculous amounts of energy boosters before I work out or when I’m feeling an energy dip during the day, instead of a good carby fruit or something. Some of the superskinnies approach their food intake and energy output in the same way that I have done over the past year and more. They know kilojoules in and kilojoules out, and they restrict or expend energy accordingly. I kind of do the same thing. Now, granted, my daily caloric intake is significantly higher than theirs, but still, we have a comparable relationship to eating and exercise. It’s all math for us.
The Supersizers. Bottomless stomachs… eating past full… eating to pass the time… eating because that’s what they do… hating that about themselves. The supersized are compulsive overeaters. But like alcoholics, taming the compulsive overeating beast, is a choice we make daily. The predisposition has not gone away, I just choose differently each and every day.
So here’s my confession: sometimes I feel like a supersized in a moderate’s body, curbing my enthusiasm with superskinny tactics. When I consider all things at the end of my day: my actions and behavior average out to that ever-proselytized and coveted “moderation,” but the thought-processes and brain energy that go into producing that result often belong to the extreme world of the supersized and superskinny.
Okay, I'm at a loss as to why you drink alot of energy boosters instead of eating something that will give you energy instead. Is it because its one of those zero calorie energy boosters? And by the way, its probably not so bad to always be aware of the calories of the food you take in, keeping a tally of it. Isn't that how weight watchers works, counting points values for activities and so on? That's alot of questions I know, but do elaborate. You kind of left me hanging.
ReplyDeleteCoffee and sugar-free red bull (zero calories and ten calories) and what i tend to choose, usually because they give me a bit of a spastic energy (which i enjoy) and because i don't feel full afterwards. So, instead of eating a banana, i'll have space for something a bit more exciting. This is a pretty new development, I used to be a fruit addict... I went RAW for a month or so in the summer, out of pure laziness (was not bothered to cook).
ReplyDeleteBut I guess I wonder if my behavior, now that i've stopped losing weight, is "normal." I mean, I wonder if people (and by people, I'm imagining mostly women), work to be average-sized... or if it's an effortless kind of life. i know these words (average, normal, whatever) are highly problematic, but I'm thinking about it in terms of BMIs (somewhere between 20 and 25).
And I guess I was thinking, that at the moment, I wouldn't consider myself a role model (this could be temporary, as I work through a bit of an emotional slump). Like, I would hate it if my child had the same relationship to food and exercise that i do. It's good to know calories and account for things (Jillian Michaels, personal trainer extraordinaire still does), but some times I feel like it should be easier.
When I'm in Uganda and Kenya, it's waaaaay easier because the food doesn't have the secret hidden calories that food here seems to have. I guess, I'm not that interested in food when I'm outside of America. So, I have all this freed up brain time. But here... it feels like a different story.
Hi Aida!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you posted about this. It is a very important post, and likely to help others.
And it seems you enjoyed the Supersize / Superskinny show! :)
Elise